![]() After the conversation has, uh, reached a climax, how do you end it? Ultimately, if you can’t find the right words or phrases, don’t overthink things-a little bit of moaning and heavy breathing can do the trick. And if you feel like you’re losing your nerve, simply try closing your eyes and reconnecting to your body and the person on the other end of the line (or screen), Michels suggests. So if you’re at a loss for how to keep things going, try to embrace the idea that you’re allowing someone else to be present while you masturbate. ![]() In fact, the person on the other end of the line probably wants you to touch yourself. “Being able to touch one’s own body, and not worrying about whether or not the other person is going to judge them for it, is a huge plus,” Michels explains. Touching yourself while you speak and listen is likely part of the equation. The great thing about phone sex is that it allows you to talk about what you like-but don’t forget the sex aspect of phone sex, Michels says. On that note… How do you keep the conversation going during phone sex? A simple “I’m touching myself here” or “I’m picturing you touching your body there” can be extremely effective-and hot. Going back to basics by telling your partner exactly what you’re doing or what you imagine they’re doing can also get the conversation going (or keep it moving) if you feel stuck, she adds. Exploring new turn-on territory is part of what makes it special: Similar to wearing a blindfold in bed, phone sex can heighten your sense of imagination and anticipation, Helfer says. Technical difficulties and awkward pauses can happen no matter your level of experience, and it’s okay if you feel a little silly or uncomfortable. If you’re wondering how to have phone sex without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious, don’t feel like you have to nail it straight out of the gate: “Phone sex is a skill one that takes patience, practice, and a whole lot of self-compassion,” Elyssa Helfer, LMFT, an AASECT-certified sex therapist based in Los Angeles, tells SELF. Whether you’re stoked to try it for the first time, you’ve dabbled in the art, or you’re practically a virtual sex pro, it’s normal to have some questions: How do you get your partner on board? What do you actually say? Can you just…hang up when it’s over? Navigating the practical aspects of smutty conversations might feel intimidating, but don’t worry: Experimentation is what makes this fun. ![]() Figuring out how to have phone sex can lead to extremely hot results, but even the best dirty talk can also feel awkward sometimes (which, honestly, adds to the charm).
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